Self Insertion
by sandrilenefatoren2
Summary: A series of one-shots. Either Sandrilenefatoren2-Sandry-, or Kaeldrea will insert themselves into the lives of various characters or series, interact with them for a single moment, and then vanish.
1. Harry Potter

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Summary: In this series of one-shots, either Sandrilenefatoren2 (Sandry for short), or Kaeldrea will create a short scene in which they insert themselves for a brief while into the lives of various characters or series, interact with them for a single moment, and then leave. These scenes reflect what the writing author would prefer to do, or enjoy doing, had they the actual opportunity to perpetrate the described acts. If more than one scene is required for a certain character, the scenes will be divided into multiple chapters, and labeled as such. The writer will be noted at the top of the one-shot, as will the central character.

Chapter 1: Harry Potter (Sandry)

Harry sat brooding in front of the roaring fire of the Gryffindor common-room, staring blackly into the flames as they crackled and danced. His parents—dead. His godfather—dead. The man he had respected more than any other, sworn loyalty to under the basilisk's fangs—dead. The most evil and terrifying man—no, not even a man—he had ever encountered, who had a personal stake in killing him, his surviving friends, every decent wizard in the world, and all of the muggles—alive, free, and gathering power. With every thought, Harry's thoughts grew blacker. He had been right, to break up with Ginny. To push her away before she got hurt too. Ron and Hermione were already involved—they were members of the Order, as well as his best friends. Ginny was not. He couldn't be involved with her, couldn't risk her being threatened because of him…

The creaky thump of a none-too-graceful person crossing the wooden floorboards of the common room caught Harry's attention, and he turned. A girl the age of a seventh-year stood there, looking at him with her round face creased with disapproval. Brown hair almost as frizzy as Hermione's was pulled back in a low ponytail at the base of her neck, accenting mild brown eyes. Brass-rimmed spectacles balanced on a button of a nose; she pushed them up absently with one finger. Harry frowned. She wasn't wearing wizard's robes. Instead, she was dressed in worn jeans and a slightly baggy grey t-shirt, tapping the toe of a brown tennis shoe against the floor. _A muggle? What's a muggle girl doing in Hogwarts?_

"Who are you?" Harry asked sharply, reaching for his wand. "How did you get into Hogwarts?"

Folding her arms across her chest, the girl scowled at the Boy Who Lived. "You're not Spider-Man, Harry." she said, light alto voice flat with annoyance. "And Ginny is no Gwen Stacy. You may be the titular hero of this drama, but that doesn't give you the right to think that you're the center of the universe. It doesn't matter if she's with you or not, if Voldemort wins. He'll kill her anyway, because she's a decent person, and would never surrender to him. And if he loses… well. It won't matter if she's with you or not right now, if you beat him."

Harry frowned, wand stopping only half-drawn. "What are you talking about?"

The girl rolled her eyes. "What I'm trying to say, Harry James Potter, is that you're acting like an emo idiot, and you need to get over yourself." Nodding with an air of finality, she turned to walk away.

Angrily, Harry jumped to his feet and went after her, quick strides letting him close within three steps. As he reached for her shoulder to demand an explanation, however, his hand passed through empty space.

She was gone.


	2. Ronald Weasley

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 2: Ronald Weasley (Sandry & Kaeldrea)

Two young women walked up to Ronald Weasely, one with red hair, one with brown. Or rather, the brunette walked purposefully, while the obviously pregnant redhead waddled with surprising grace and strength of purpose. Reaching Ron, they simultaneously reached up and slapped him over the back of the head as hard as they possibly could. "Ronald Weasely, learn to think before you speak… or act, for that matter." They glared at him thoughtfully for a moment. "Idiot." They shook their heads and left, leaving a thoroughly Gibbs-smacked Ron behind them.


	3. Hermione Granger

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 3: Hermione Granger (Kaeldrea)

Hermione Granger sat in her favorite spot at the library, hunkered over her personal copy of _Hogwarts: A History_, mumbling to herself. She was rereading the volume, a refresher in case she needed to remind Harry or Ron—yet again—of something that should be blatantly obvious to anyone with the ability to read. "You'd think no one had ever read this book." she sniffed disdainfully to herself. "Or read at all. What is wrong with the literacy rate at Hogwarts?"

A snort of equal disdain answered her question, and caused her to look up. A redheaded woman stood with her arms folded over her third-trimester rotundness, hip cocked to one side, just shaking her head. "Hermione Granger, no one—and I do mean no one—with the exceptions of you and possibly the author himself, has ever read _Hogwarts: A History_." The redheaded muggle woman gave her a stern look. "Deal with it."

So saying, she vanished as though she had never been. Big belly and all.


	4. Severus Snape

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 4: Severus Snape (Sandry)

Face set in a permanent scowl, Severus Snape stalked into his office, long black robes billowing behind him, and paused.

There was an impossibility sitting behind his desk.

"Hello, Professor." the brown-haired muggle girl said politely, unnatural cheerfulness in her voice. "I realize that you're a very busy man, but some things simply can't be put off forever." So saying, she set a triangular bottle on his desk. "I'm no potion's master, but I have experimented somewhat. This is shampoo. Muggle shampoo, but the best for its purpose." she smiled brightly. "It cuts through grease better than dishsoap, and gets rid of dandruff too. If you're going to be acting as a double-agent for the Order, you might as well look decent doing it." Standing, she gave Severus a polite smile and nod of the head, and then vanished.

Leaving an opaque blue bottle of _Selsun Blue: Medicated Dandruff Shampoo_ on the potion master's desk.


	5. Monkey D Luffy

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 5: Monkey D. Luffy (Sandry)

Luffy grinned happily to himself, swinging his feet idly as he let a long fishing-line dangle over the _Sunny's_ stern railing. The sun was out, the weather was good, he had a mostly-full stomach, and all of his nakama were doing well.

"Neh, Luffy-kun."

"Yeah?" Luffy asked without turning.

"What did you use for bait?"

"One of Sanji's empty cigarette boxes."

"Oh." A pause. "Isn't that littering?"

"Huh?"

Luffy, finally realizing that the voice, while female, wasn't Nami's or Robin's, turned. And saw a strange brunette lady with glasses standing there, looking at him curiously.

"Who're you?" he asked, blinking.

She smiled. "Call me Sandry."

"Okay."

"Neh, Luffy-kun?"

"Yeah?"

"Try using actual food as bait. Fish don't like cigarette boxes."

"REALLY?!" Luffy seemed shocked.

"Really." Sandry nodded affirmatively. "And try fishing at night, too, or when it's raining but not storming. Fish like to come closer to the surface when it's darker out."

"Thanks, Sandry!" Luffy grinned. "You sure know a lot about fish!" When there was no reply, he blinked. "Huh?"

She was gone.


	6. Usopp

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 6: Usopp (Sandry)

"WAHEEEE!!!" Usopp practically catapulted backwards in surprise. "Wh-wh-who are you!?" he stammered out the demand, already clutching his mallet defensively.

The brunette woman he addressed—who had somehow managed to enter his workshop without his noticing while he worked on making more explosive pellets, and who was certainly NOT a crew member—just smothered a laugh with one hand. "Call me Sandry." she said, pushing up her glasses with one finger.

"How did you get in here?" Usopp asked warily, still clutching his hammer. She didn't _look_ threatening—frizzy brown hair pulled back in a ponytail, a little on the plump side, an amused smile on her face—but then again, looks could be deceiving. He should know.

"Creative license." she replied, smile getting wider. "So long as I don't overtly breach the fourth wall, I can temporarily use the theory of Dimensional Reflection to switch a specific volume of material with my body through a bookworm-hole into your existentiality."

"Uh… come again?" Usopp was in that weird state where intellectual curiosity warred with caution. Usually, caution won big time. But _this_ time… well, she really didn't seem dangerous, and this was _interesting_.

A wry twist to her mouth appeared, and she crouched down across from him, propping her chin on one hand. "Basically, I can be here because you don't know who I really am or what my relationship to you is. If you knew, I wouldn't be able to switch places with the air in your workshop to appear here."

"Okaaaay…" Usopp put down the hammer, slowly, but left it within arm's reach. "So _why_ are you here?"

"A few reasons." Sandry said. "Firstly, I wanted you to know that I think you're a lot braver and more awesome than you give yourself credit for. And don't give me the 'Captain Usopp' act. I know you're not really as confident inside as you act. Trust me." Her wry smile took on a slightly bitter edge. "I know what it's like trying to pretend you're special when you really don't think you're any good at all."

Usopp's mouth opened and closed a few times, as he tried to formulate a reply. Nothing came out, though. He _had_ no reply.

"Secondly, I wanted to ask how you wear overalls without a shirt. I know from experience that that is extremely uncomfortable." Sandry continued blithely.

That, Usopp could respond to. "You're a girl. It's not as big a deal for men."

Sandry blinked and looked down at her chest. "Point. It still has to be uncomfortable, though."

"I'm used to it." Usopp shrugged.

"Right. Third reason." Sandry moved on. "I want to play with your hair."

A blank stare. "…what?"

"It looks curly and bouncy." Sandry explained. "I want to play with it."

"Are you serious?"

"Absolutely." Sandry said clearly. "Will you let me?"

"Uh… no." Usopp said flatly. "That is entirely too creepy."

"Please?" Sandry asked again, "I really want to."

"No."

"Please?"

"No!"

"…please?" Sandry fell back on the last resort of all women who don't get their way. The Puppy Dog Pout.

"Nnggh…" Usopp groaned. Of all the guys in the crew, only Zoro was immune to the Puppy Dog Pout. And that was because, as Sanji had said, he was a romantically retarded bastard. "…fine…"

A squeal was Sandry's only audible reaction, before she lunged forward and hugged him.

"Hiiiii!!!!" Usopp yelped and tried to scramble away but, being already backed into a wall, failed utterly.

Sandry grabbed his head and dug her fingers into his thick, curly black hair. "Heeheehee! It's so springy!" she giggled madly. "I love it!"

"O-oi!" Usopp protested. Sure, her hug had been… well, really comfortable, but still, she was way too close for comfort.

"So bouncy!" Sandry giggled, and tugged a lock downward, releasing it to let it spring up again. "Heeheeee!"

"Oi! Get off already!"

"Okay, okay, sorry!" Sandry got off of him and stood up, dusting off her knees. "Don't ever cut your hair short, 'kay? It's your best feature."

"Uh, right…" Usopp muttered, rubbing a hand over his head awkwardly. "Now why don't you… gebeh?" He blinked and stared at where she'd just been. She was gone without a trace.

* * *

*Usopp makes some of the weirdest noises in the entire show, doesn't he? And yes, I really do think his hair is his best feature. It's so… so bouncy! And the rest of his features aren't especially good, anyway.


	7. Sanji

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 7: Sanji (Sandry)

Sanji hummed happily to himself as he opened the oven. Using a towel to protect his precious hands, he pulled out the baking sheet and set it on the stove, tapping the oven closed again with one heel. _Fondant Au Chocolat_. Rich, moist chocolate cakes with a molten chocolate core… so good they were positively _sinful_.

_Ah, Nami-san, Robin-chan, for you I will make the most sumptuous of banquets!_ he sighed to himself.

"Considering the other name for those things, I find it both ironic and amusing that you made them."

"Hm?" Sanji turned at the unfamiliar voice, curly brows raised. There was an unfamiliar young woman sitting at the kitchen table. "And who might you be, ojou-san?"

"You _could_ call me an admirer of sorts." she said enigmatically. "Or you could call me a lover of all things sweet and chocolaty. Or you could call me a dilettante in the art of baking." A smile, glancing up through dark lashes behind brass-rimmed spectacles. "But I would prefer if you called me Sandry."

"Well then, Sandry-chan." Sanji chuckled smoothly, sliding one of the hand-sized cakes onto a small plate. "Would you like to try some _Fondant Au Chocolat_?"

"Do your eyebrows curl?" Sandry countered.

"For once, I am glad I can say 'yes' to that question." Sanji smiled wryly, and set the cake, along with a fork, on the table in front of her. "Would you like some milk to go with that, Sandry-chan?"

"I repeat the former query." Sandry's own smile took on an amused twist.

Sanji chuckled and opened the fridge. As he poured a glass of cold milk for his impromptu guest, he began to wonder where she came from, and how and why she was here. His musings were interrupted, however, when she spoke.

"You know, I didn't really think you'd let me have any of this." Sandry said thoughtfully. "I mean, I'm assuming you made it for Nami-san and Robin-san."

"I did." Sanji agreed. "But I made extra in case our baka-senchou barged in and stole some." He set the glass of milk before her with a smile. "Of course, I'd much rather share it with a beautiful woman like you."

About to take her first bite, Sandry paused. "…you think I'm beautiful?" she asked quietly.

"Of course." Sanji nodded. "You have a very pretty face, Sandry-chan. And a sweet figure." He glanced down at her chest. While not as deliciously buxom as Nami-san or Robin-chan, she was comfortably endowed. Yes, she was a little on the plump side, and yes, she wasn't exactly the ideal of female beauty, but she was pretty enough.

"I know my sister says I'm cute, but I never thought of myself as beautiful." Sandry said. "Thank you, Sanji-kun. You've made me feel good about myself."

"That's what I'm here for." Sanji smiled smoothly at her, leaning over her shoulder to speak intimately into her ear. "Are you going to try the chocolate?"

"Yes. Yes I am." Sandry replied. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't lean over me like that though. It makes me a little nervous."

"Ah, sorry, sorry." Sanji backed up, still smiling.

Sandry dug her fork into the chocolate cake and took a bite. "Mmmm…" she half-sighed, half-moaned. "This is incredible! Still warm, it contrasts nicely with the cold milk, and practically melts in my mouth! Love it!" She began to shovel the cake into her mouth, polishing it off to the point that the plate lacked even a chocolate smear when she was done. Gulping down tha last of her milk, she sighed in satisfaction. "That really lived up to its name."

Sanji, still watching, smiled. Maybe she wasn't as elegant as Robin-chan, or as beautiful as Nami-san, but her enthusiasm over his cooking had its own appeal. And despite that enthusiasm, she hadn't made a mess.

Sandry sighed again and stood up. "I need to apologize, Sanji-kun."

"What for?" Sanji blinked at her, confused.

"For using you. I came here just so I could take advantage of how nice you are to woman to eat this." She nodded at the empty plate. "I have a real weakness for desserts and pastries."

"There's no need to apologize." Sanji assured her. "It's flattering to have a beautiful woman come all this way just for my cooking."

"Speaking of flattering." Sandry said. "Thank you for the complements. They're very nice. Which reminds me!" she said suddenly. "I was planning on telling you that I think you're very handsome, and I love your hair. Also, you make smoking look cool. Unfortunately, I'm allergic to cigarette smoke, or I'd hang out with you longer. Anyway, thanks for everything. I'm really glad I came today." She walked over and hugged him.

_Hiiiiii!!_ Sanji danced around gleefully inside his own head. _I got a hug from a pretty girl!_ He hugged her back, tightly, restraining a squeal of happiness.

"Ack! Can't breathe!" Sandry spluttered.

Immediately Sanji released her, apologizing hastily.

"No, no, it's alright." Sandry assured him. "You give very good hugs." She dusted off the knees of her jeans. "Now then, I need to go. I have things to do, chibis to glomp… you know the drill." She smiled at him.

"Ah, just a minute." Sanji requested. "You said that the _Fondant_ had another name, didn't you?"

"Hm? Oh, yeah." She grinned and beckoned with a finger.

Sanji put his ear close to her mouth so she could whisper into it.

"They're also called 'Chocolate Orgasms'." she murmured wickedly, and vanished.


	8. TonyTony Chopper

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 8: Tony-Tony Chopper (Sandry & Kaeldrea)

"KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Two identical, ear-splitting, migraine-inducing squeals of utter delight ripped through the air over the grassy main deck of the _Thousand Sunny_. It was quickly followed by a shriek of equal volume, but with a tone of terror instead of bliss.

"IIIIIIIIIIIIYYYAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!" Tony-Tony Chopper screamed, as five times his usual body mass came crashing down onto his small, cloven-hoofed frame.

The two strange women—one brunette, one redhead—ignored his fear, wrapping their arms around his furry body in a tight double embrace. "KAWAIIIIII!!!!" they cooed together. The redhead rubbed his small ears between her fingers, marveling at their furry softness. The brunette caught hold of his little hooves and wiggled them around as a new mother would her baby's fists.

"NOOO!!" Chopper wailed. "LET GO OF ME, YOU STUPID HUMANS!!"

"Awww…" they said together.

"Isn't he just the cutest thing _ever_, Sandry?" the redhead asked her counterpart, tickling his tummy until he giggled uncontrollably.

"I know, Kaeldrea!" the brunette agreed giddily, tweaking his horns. "I just want to hold him, and squeeze him, and call him George!"

"You want to call him George?" One of Kaeldrea's pale gold brows rose, as she gathered the tormented little reindeer-human onto her lap.

"Well, no, not really, but it's part of the saying." Sandry admitted.

"HELP!" Chopper wailed. "I'M BEING REINDEER-NAPPED!! SOME BODY SAVE ME!!!"

"Isn't that just precious?" Sandry chuckled, and then leaned forward to kiss his little blue nose. "But we should go, sis. We've still got more to do."

"True. One last cuddle then?"

"Indeed."

With that, they squeezed Chopper until he thought his eyeballs would pop out of his skull. Just when he thought he was going to die, though, all of the pressure vanished.

And the women with it.


	9. Nami 1

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 9: Nami (Sandry)

Nami sighed and stretched, back arching as her hands reached up over her head. Her chart of the latest island was finished. Now she felt like getting some sun, something good to drink, and some heartfelt adoration.

Time to sunbathe on the deck where Sanji could see her in all her bikini-clad glory.

"Hoooooo! You's a hooooo!"

Nami jumped at the sudden sound. Some woman she didn't know was singing in an imitation of a man she's never met.

"Oh no, I said that you's a hooooo… whoa!" The brunette who had appeared out of nowhere burst out laughing and vanished again, leaving Nami stunned and offended.

* * *

*I don't actually think Nami's a whore. It's just funny to say that she is. That, and she uses her feminine wiles a little too much for my taste.


	10. Nami 2

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 10: Nami (Kaeldrea)

_Snip._ Nami turned around to see a redheaded woman holding a pair of scissors and a lock of orange hair. Eyes widening in disbelief, the navigator clapped a hand to the side of her head. The long lock of hair that usually fell before her left ear had been summarily trimmed to match the length of the rest. "What did you _do_?!" she gasped in shock. "You… you _cut_ my _hair_!"

"No shit, Sherlock. That one long piece was driving me insane!" the redhead rolled her eyes. "It was just so random! I mean, it's like you did a bad do-it-yourself job! Trust me, you'll thank me later." She tossed the cut-off piece of hair over the _Sunny's_ railing. "Buh-bye." She vanished, leaving Nami gaping at where she'd stood.


	11. Franky

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 11: Franky [Cutty Flam] (Sandry & Kaeldrea)

"FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, COUNTRY, OR WHATEVER ELSE YOU COULD _POSSIBLY_ HOLD SACRED, PUT ON SOME **PANTS**, MAN!!"


	12. Nico Robin

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 12: Nico Robin (Sandry)

"Here you go."

Robin looked up from her current book (_Mandala: The Wheel Turns_), to see another book held in front of her face. It was massive, almost a tome, with pale green plaid binding. Mildly, Robin, blinked up at the young lady who held it out to her. "What's this?"

"_The Banks of the Boyne._" the brunette replied. "I wanted a second opinion of its utter suckitude, and I figured that since you like reading so much, you could read it and tell me what you think."

"Of course." Robin agreed readily, smiling. "But might I ask your name, miss?"

"Call me Sandry." was the reply, before she vanished. Her voice echoed throughout the library in a hushed tone. "I'll come back when you've finished it. Tell me what you think then."

* * *

"Well, what do you think?" Sandry asked a week later, just as Robin closed the book for the last time.

"I think it is long, complicated, and needlessly verbose." Robin said matter-of-factly. "Moreover, the point of view, time period, and setting changes suddenly and without warning throughout, making it a pointlessly difficult read."

"Yeah, that's what I thought." Sandry rolled her eyes.

"By the way, I didn't recognize any of the locations or events used," Robin added. "Would you mind explaining to me—"

"Okaygottagobye!" Sandry said hastily, snatching the book from her and vanishing before Robin could even finish her question.

Robin blinked. "How very odd."

* * *

*_The Banks of the Boyne_ is a book of utter suckyness. UGH, I hate that book…


	13. Roronoa Zoro

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 13: Roronoa Zoro (Sandry & Kaeldrea)

"You have the sleeping habits of a stoned koala, the manners of a caveman with head trauma, and hair like the mold on a three-month-old loaf of bread." The two women said flatly. "Not to mention that your direction-sense makes Hibiki Ryouga look like a living compass." They smiled. "But we love you anyway, because you're just that awesome!"


	14. Brooke

Disclaimer: We do not own any of the series featured in this fic. They belong to their respective authors, writers, artists, owners, etc. We own only ourselves, our opinions, and the computer on which this fic was written. Enjoy.

Chapter 14: Brooke (Sandry & Kaeldrea)

"Oh dem bones, dem bones, dem dry bones…" Brooke put a little skip into his long stride, singing lightly to himself as he paced across the broad deck of the _Thousand Sunny_. He loved his job as Ship's Musician. His new nakama weren't on a par with the late Rumba Pirates, but they certainly weren't _bad_ singers, and they accepted him, even in his skeletal state. It was good to feel useful again.

Making his way up to the flat foredeck, Brooke paused. He'd always loved the foredeck—it was shaped just like a stage. As he stood contemplating the area, cane-sword hooked elegantly over one long, bony wrist, an unfamiliar strain of music began to echo over the surrounding waters.

"Hm-hm, yes!" Brooke tapped his bony foot in time to the tune. "A good beat, very good! Yohohoho!"

As he watched, two women appeared suddenly on the stage-like deck. One had frizzy brown curls pulled back into a high ponytail, brass-rimmed spectacles balanced on a button of a nose, and a slightly plump frame. The other had vibrant red-orange hair done up in a slightly messy bun at the base of her head, bright green eyes in a pale, freckled face, and a little excess weight indicative of recent pregnancy. Both of them were dressed in baggy, oversized shirts and loose jeans.

Just as they appeared, the music swelled louder, and a somewhat whiny tenor voice began singing from nowhere. The two women began to dance; their movements were loose, but sharp, feet stomping the deck or sliding across the wood as they moved.

_It's close to miiiidnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark…_

_Under the moooonlight, you see a sight that almost stops your heart…_

_You try to screeeam, but terror takes the sound before you make it…_

_You start to freeeeze, as horror looks you right between the eyes; you're paralyzed!_

Unable to resist, Brooke joined in, his bony, lanky frame perfectly suited for the angular movements of the dance. The women danced one on either side of him, grins almost matching his own for whiteness and sincerity.

'_Because it's thriller, thriller night!_

_And no one's gonna save you from the beast about to strike!_

_Oh yes, it's thriller, thriller night! _

_You're fighting for your life inside killer, thriller, toniiiiiiiiight!_

The song faded long before it should have been over, but the women didn't seem to mind, laughing happily as they panted lightly from exertion.

"YOHOHOHO!" Brook laughed as well, having enjoyed himself mightily. "You two are good, very good!" he beamed. "Look, 45º!" he leaned against the rail at an acute angle, bringing another burst of giggles from the brunette.

The redhead just rolled her eyes. "At least you're cuter than the original." she said. "Though that's not saying much, honestly."

"Thank you!" Brooke said cheerfully. "You're a lovely thing too! May I see your panties?"

"No." Both women said simultaneously, still grinning.

"Too bad!" Brooke laughed. "Yohohoho!"

He was still laughing when they vanished.


End file.
